Mac OS X snow leopard with iPhone SE iOS

MacBook OS X Snow Leopard does not sync iTunes to iPhone SE 11.0.3. while connected via usb and WiFi. MacBook does not show that my phone is connected on iTunes desktop. The only place that recognizes a usb connection is, Click Apple icon>Pressing options key>...Then below the Hardware tab>usb, verifies iPhone details. My attempts to setting uniform Time and Date has not helped. Macbook and iPhone have most current updates. Secondly, please tell me how to export to music I uploaded since the beginning of iPods from the MacBook and to the iPhone described above. Do we only get to listen to music purchased from iTunes? Thanks Apple Peeps!