AirPods connection unreliable

I‘m very disappointed with the reliability of the AirPods connection. Because I use them so frequently, they have numerous opportunities to disappoint, and seem to take advantage of most of those. This product, more than any other Apple product I have (and there are many,) is the best example of the fact that “it just works” is a thing of the past.

I’ve done every reset possible. I’ve tried a new phone. New AirPods. Wiping software and restoring phone as new (HUUUUGE pain in the butt,) and it all provides the same extremely frustrating experience. Case in point, my right AirPod just finally connected after being in my ear for nearly 5 minutes. Sometimes it’s 5 seconds. Rarely is it consistent.

I‘m at a complete loss for what to do. Is it possible this is all being caused by a corrupted iCloud account?