I’m trying to update my Apple id and it wont allow me to use the email i want because it says its my notification email so i removed that email and tried to switch it and it still will not allow me to change it. what can i do?

Apparently Apple won't let you use any email addresses you have previously used for anything:

Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security - https://support.apple.com/HT204169 "This article provides country-specific Apple Support contact information for customers seeking help with their Apple ID password or other security-related issues." Better for directly reporting an issue.

Have you tried signing out of the link and then sign back in again to see if you can change it?