10.4.8 on both machines. I hooked up a hub the other day and set up a wired network. When the MBP is connected directly to the network there is no problem at all.
Shared WiFi? No. Direct networking? Yes. That meant it wasn't a local firewaill issue, but a remote. This got me to thinking about what the problem actually might be. I'd sooner die than turn off the firewall completely on either mac but I'd be perfectly happy opening
distinct ports one at a time to the outside world to test the connections.
So, I fired up terminal on the iMac and looked at the ipfw rules again with a pad and paper drawing out the holes in the wall. Just nonforwarded domains and ports opened to the outside world for a few services. Inbound? Not so much. Locked down like a safe. Looks like I'm too secure for my own good. I've blocked myself from accessing myself from the outside world and that world includes my MBP.
When you share an internet connection over a mac you have to poke holes in the firewall for the systems that are being clients in the network to be able to use certain services. Fixing this problem was as simple as opening up the firewall on the "server" to accept cvs and rsync ports as incoming connections.
No nat, no port forwarding, no futzing around. It just works. I was trying to make things too unix-ified in my solution. All I needed to do was change a setting in the GUI. The fix for the SSL issue with Gmail should be the same.
To make the solution more secure, I'll probably use ipfw to only open the connections on the client facing side of the network. Right now, those ports are wide open to the internet on the "server" but there are no services running so it's not a big issue.
So, thanks Joeski... You kicked my thinking off in the right direction wih your firewall sugesion.