1st iPhone SE set up for my Daughter

I’ve just purchased a new SE for my daughter (she’s 11) and concerned that if I don’t set it up correctly, I’m going to regret it later.

At the moment, she’s had an iPad for 2 years and the way I set it up was with her own @iCloud email account, however, for the app store, it uses my wife’s iCloud account so we could enter our password ourselves (without her looking and knowing what it is) and authorise payments etc or free downloads. I thought this was best initially.


So… now that she has a new SE, I’m thinking I should be considering setting it up so that:

1/ If she wants a free or payable app, she has to get authorisation from ME before she can do so

2/ I can control content she can look at?

3/ I can track her to check she gets to school for example - is there an app for this?

4/ Can I control or limit app usage?

I’m sure there are other elements I need to be mindful to protect her?

All in all, how do I start the process from a fresh new phone for her?

Any advice would be really helpful


Thanks

Posted on Apr 26, 2018 3:37 PM

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Posted on Apr 26, 2018 5:39 PM

Hi there,


In answer to question 1, I’d recommend setting up Family Sharing on your device then on your daughter’s device. Learn how to set it up and more about it here: Family Sharing - Apple Support and to learn more about Ask to buy, check out this: Request and make purchases with Ask to Buy - Apple Support. This should work with both free and paid downloads, as confirmed by Apple Support.


In answer to question 2, you can enable Restrictions/Perental Controls to limit some of the content she can look at, learn how to do so here: How to use parental controls on your child's iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support. You canalso find content blocker apps in the App Store to limit what she sees in Safari.


In answer to question 3, there’s an app called Find my Friends. With Find my Friends, you can share and locate other family members or friends. You can learn about setting it up and more here: Find My Friends: Overview


In answer to question 4: With family sharing, you can limit apps downloaded but I’m not sure of a way to limit usage with those apps.


Some of those services, such as Restrictions have other features that can help limit some other things, for example to not allow explicit content in music.


Hopefully this helps, and have a great day.

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25 replies
Question marked as Top-ranking reply

Apr 26, 2018 5:39 PM in response to I am the Count

Hi there,


In answer to question 1, I’d recommend setting up Family Sharing on your device then on your daughter’s device. Learn how to set it up and more about it here: Family Sharing - Apple Support and to learn more about Ask to buy, check out this: Request and make purchases with Ask to Buy - Apple Support. This should work with both free and paid downloads, as confirmed by Apple Support.


In answer to question 2, you can enable Restrictions/Perental Controls to limit some of the content she can look at, learn how to do so here: How to use parental controls on your child's iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support. You canalso find content blocker apps in the App Store to limit what she sees in Safari.


In answer to question 3, there’s an app called Find my Friends. With Find my Friends, you can share and locate other family members or friends. You can learn about setting it up and more here: Find My Friends: Overview


In answer to question 4: With family sharing, you can limit apps downloaded but I’m not sure of a way to limit usage with those apps.


Some of those services, such as Restrictions have other features that can help limit some other things, for example to not allow explicit content in music.


Hopefully this helps, and have a great day.

May 3, 2018 9:42 AM in response to I am the Count

No, I think you may have missed the whole point.


Your daughter should have her own Apple/iCloud ID. She should not share an ID with anyone else. So, you need to set up an ID for her as described in the Family Sharing documentation:


Family Sharing and Apple ID for your child - Apple Support


Please read the article above carefully, and decide who you want to be the organizer for your Family Sharing account (you or your wife). Once you have decided that, then that person should follow the steps to create your child's Apple/iCloud ID.


Once you have set up an account for her (she will automatically be a part of the Family Sharing account at that point), sign her Apple ID into her iPad and iPhone. Do not sign anyone else's Apple ID into the devices that you have designated for her use.


The Organizer should then invite all other family members to the Family Sharing group, and turn on Family Sharing for everyone so that all media, music, games, etc. previously purchased under any of the IDs that are a part of the Family Sharing Group can have access to those purchases:


Family Sharing - Apple - follow the instructions step by step to get the Family Sharing group set up for all Family members.


If you have any issues getting things set up, then see this troubleshooting article for help: Family Sharing - Troubleshooting


Best,


GB

Apr 27, 2018 3:14 PM in response to I am the Count

Hi, here’s some more clarification. If Family Sharing and Ask to Buy are turned on, you will have to accept or decline the purchase before she can download it. This is for both free and paid apps. If it’s approved as a paid app, you will be billed for it. If she wanted to leave the family sharing group to get any app or for another reason, she wouldn’t be able to do so until she was 13. Also, I’d recommend to set up Family Sharing on your device before setting up her Apple ID/ iCloud and set it up by doing this Family Sharing and Apple ID for your child - Apple Support.



(edited)

If you don’t turn on Family Sharing with Ask to Buy, I’d recommend what sberman said.


Have a great day.

Apr 29, 2018 7:43 PM in response to I am the Count

Well, if you try to set up an Apple account for a child under the age of 13 (i.e., you put the correct Birth Date in), then it should require you to set up Family Sharing.


But if things didn't work out that way, then you should be able to get it sorted with out too much of an issue.


I am curious, however. You indicated that your daughter wasn't on "your" Family Sharing account, but was on your Wife's? If so, then are you saying that you both have independently turned on Family Sharing and you both are the Organizers? Because that is not the configuration you want. You want one Family Sharing account.


The person who initially sets it up is the Organizer and must have a valid payment on file with iTunes.


The Organizer then invites others to join the family, including other Adults/Gaurdians, as well as other Adults who are not Guardians, and children (Apple account holders that are under 18 years of age).


So, can you clarify how your Family Sharing is currently configured?


Best,


GB

Apr 30, 2018 11:19 AM in response to I am the Count

OK, so the easiest way to consolidate your Family Group would be for you to turn off Family Sharing on your account, then ask your wife to invite you to the Family Sharing Group set up under her ID. That means that she would remain the "Organizer" (i.e., all purchases would go against the payment method on file for her Apple ID), but you can both be set up to be approvers for the "Ask to Buy" feature by simply making you both an Adult and a Guardian.


The other alternative would be for her to disband the Family Group set up under her Apple ID, and move the entire family to your Family Sharing group. So, to do that, she would have to first transfer the two kids to your group:


If the child is already in a family

You can ask an organizer from another family group to invite the child to their family (that would be your wife asking you to invite the children to your group). After you use the steps to make the request (click on this link and follow the steps), she will get a notification. She can approve from the notification. After you approve, the child moves from her family group to the your family group.



You would then invite your wife as an Adult/Gaurdian to your group, and then you would all be in the same group that way.


Best,


GB

May 4, 2018 1:26 PM in response to I am the Count

If she is a member of a Family Sharing Group, and is under 13, the Ask To Buy will automatically be generated no matter what type of purchase is being made (even in-App purchases). Turning of that option in the Restrictions will prevent her from even requesting to purchase them.


I don't know if I previously attached this, but in case I didn't, it might also help:


Request and make purchases with Ask to Buy - Apple Support


Sounds like you are making progress! 🙂 YAY!


Best,


GB

May 3, 2018 7:16 PM in response to I am the Count

I am the Count wrote:


hi, thanks for your response.


gail from maine wrote:


OK, so just to clarify - the Apple/iCloud account that was set up for her by an adult is still a full-fledged Apple account (sans the credit card, of course). This Apple ID and all purchases made under it will be a part of this Apple ID's account.


>>>Her @icloud.com email and account was set up by me with the correct age and she is using it already for imessage and email on her ipad. Although she uses my wife's @icloud.com ID to make purchases, she just asks us and we enter the password whilst she looks away ;-) If you have set up Family Sharing, then she should signed into the iTunes & App Store with her own Apple/iCloud ID, not your wife's. That is the whole point of Family Sharing. She initiates purchases on her iPad, Mac, or iPhone, and, because she is under 13, it generates an "Ask to Buy" request to the Organizer or Guardian, who then approves or declines the purchase. The request is sent to the iOS device or Mac of the Organizer or Guardian.




As far as backing up her iPad and iPhone, she has a couple of options, with some caveats.


She can back up her iPad and iPhone to her new Mac - and should do that. No sync is required in order to make an iTunes backup, and it would be good to have a current one on her new Mac. She can also continue to do backups of her iPad and iPhone on the other Mac, if you wish. Backups are independent of the Mac. They are just backups of the device in case you need to recover it.
>>>So at the moment, she backup and syncs music to her ipad via my wife's macbook itunes though. As indicated before, she should start backing up her devices to her own Mac, unless you feel there is a reason she should not.

As for "syncing" music, once Family Sharing is turned on, all purchased Music, Videos, Books, etc. that are owned by any other member of the family is available for any other family member to download to their device and use. The download is done over Wifi by going to the iTunes Store icon on her iOS device, then click on the three dots on the bottom right-hand side of the screen (...) with the word "More" under them. Then click on Purchased>click on a name under the "Family Purchases" section>click on a media type (say Music)>click on Not on this iPhone/iPad>select the songs she wants to download to her device.


She should also set up automatic iCloud Backups. These happen any time the device is connected to power, on the Lock Screen, and has Wifi. Typically at night while the device is charging. That means that you always have a current backup of the device. So if it were lost, stolen, or wiped for some reason, she would be able to get all of her data back from resoring to her iCloud Backup.


>>>We don't want to use iCloud Backups due to the cost at the moment so only backup to a physical macbook. Whether its just best to back up to her own macbook or continue with my wife's? I think the former now right? Seems like it would be easier for her to get into the habit of backing up to her own Mac, but that's your call.


The Apps on her device will remain on her device. A sign-in to iTunes or iCloud does not change the layout of the device. The iCloud Sign in will sync any iCloud Data that she might have to the device like Contacts, Calendars, Notes, Reminders, etc. (although at this point these won't have any data).


Does she use iTunes to sync music, books, or anything? Because with new devices and Macs, you may have to do some finagling to get things organized. Once it's all in place, things should actually work much better for all of you.


>>>Yes, so when she backs up to my wife's macbook she also syncs music from my wife's itunes library at the moment. Of course this can change to her own macbook from now on I guess? The music in your Wife's iTunes Library won't be in your daughter's iTunes Library, unless she signs into iTunes on her Mac (Account>Sign In), then Authorizes the Mac to her ID (Account>Authorizations>Authorize this Computer).

Once she has signed in and Authorized the Mac to her Apple/iCloud ID, she can then go to Account>Family Purchases>Select the Family Member she wants the purchases on her Mac from>click "Not In My Library" to show any that are not in her Mac Library right now>Select Songs or Albums>individually select any that she wants in her Mac Library by clicking on the cloud next to them.


Best,


GB

Apr 27, 2018 4:07 PM in response to epic5468

great. Sorry for silly questions, but my order of things here are :


1/ Set up Family Sharing with Ask to Buy on MY account

2/ then set up the phone with HER existing iCloud account..

3/ Then set up parental controls on HER iphone and configure apps/usage etc?

4/ Find my Friends needs to be set up


Then she's good to go?


thanks again


PS, obviously she already has an iPad with my wife's iCloud app store (always asks for teh password anyhow) But I would like to move to the same set up - would I need to wipe it and set up as per her new iPhone SE or what might you suggest? I doubt she will want to lose all teh apps on there that we have authorised.


Thank you very much!

Apr 27, 2018 4:18 PM in response to I am the Count

Hi again,


The list of things to do seems correct, and I’m not 100% sure about this, but Family Sharing may have to be turned on after the device is set up. Also, I’m not 100% sure about this either, but Find my Friends may be turned on automatically after family sharing is turned on.


If some or most of the purchases are made with your husband’s account, I’d recommend adding him to the Family Sharing group as a parent so she can still use those already purchased apps.


Once again, have a great day.

May 3, 2018 10:47 AM in response to I am the Count

OK, so just to clarify - the Apple/iCloud account that was set up for her by an adult is still a full-fledged Apple account (sans the credit card, of course). This Apple ID and all purchases made under it will be a part of this Apple ID's account.


As far as backing up her iPad and iPhone, she has a couple of options, with some caveats.


She can back up her iPad and iPhone to her new Mac - and should do that. No sync is required in order to make an iTunes backup, and it would be good to have a current one on her new Mac. She can also continue to do backups of her iPad and iPhone on the other Mac, if you wish. Backups are independent of the Mac. They are just backups of the device in case you need to recover it.


She should also set up automatic iCloud Backups. These happen any time the device is connected to power, on the Lock Screen, and has Wifi. Typically at night while the device is charging. That means that you always have a current backup of the device. So if it were lost, stolen, or wiped for some reason, she would be able to get all of her data back from resoring to her iCloud Backup.


The Apps on her device will remain on her device. A sign-in to iTunes or iCloud does not change the layout of the device. The iCloud Sign in will sync any iCloud Data that she might have to the device like Contacts, Calendars, Notes, Reminders, etc. (although at this point these won't have any data).


Does she use iTunes to sync music, books, or anything? Because with new devices and Macs, you may have to do some finagling to get things organized. Once it's all in place, things should actually work much better for all of you.


Best,


GB

Apr 27, 2018 11:33 PM in response to epic5468

Thanks, I guess what you are saying is leave her iPad as is and try adding family sharing?


The other thing is that her iPad is linked to my wife’s MacBook - when I say linked, I mean it is syncd/backed up to her MacBook.


And this is another question, since my daughter does have a MacBook of her own (2008 model) should she just assign it to hers? Or should I leave it backing up to my wife’s MacBook? What are the implications of leaving it this way. In a way, if it was my iPad I would want to backup and administer it via iTunes on my own MacBook?


Sorry for all the questions, I just want to move forward in the right direct as it feels like there’s a hybrid way to move forward with all this and I would rather do it right?


Thanks again.

Apr 28, 2018 12:13 AM in response to Briansyddall

Briansyddall wrote:


Hi

The best way is to buy her an iTunes gift card every month redeem at the bottom of main iTunes page.

Go to books download ios 11 user guide & iPhone SE guide both are free.

Cheers

Brian 🇬-1F1E7;

Since the child is a minor, Apple has made it clear that they should not have an Apple ID outside of Family Sharing. And, as the OP has indicated, they want control over what their 11 year old purchases. Having their own iTunes balance would defeat the purpose.


Best,


GB

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1st iPhone SE set up for my Daughter

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