Can anyone suggest a player that can handle the full res 4K video from the default Mac OS High Sierra's "Default for Display" resolution?
Unfortunately there is no such animal. You can't have true 4K (or 5K) resolution using the "Default" mode setting. Either you view the media content at a screen resolution capable of supporting the native resolution of the video or you view the content using the "Default" setting. The choice is yours.
BACKGROUND: Basically, Apple's "Default" resolution option converts a device's display to "Retina" by doubling the number of pixels vertically and horizontally, meaning it has 4 times as many pixels as a non-Retina counterpart. If it did that and nothing else then there would be a problem. User interface elements like menus and icons would look tiny (as you complained). To compensate for this, Apple created what it calls the "HiDPI" mode, where each interface element is doubled in size vertically and horizontally (i.e., displays at 0.5X its resolution) and so appears at the same size as it would on a non-Retina display—thus halving the 5K screen to an effective 2.5K display as you also noted. (I.e., the effect of a Retina display is to make everything look crisper. Text in particular benefits from Retina—it looks smoother, with the curves on characters looking like curves instead of jagged steps.)
Since Apple apps tend to be context adaptive, apps like QTX limit the player window to the "effective" resolution of your video display or, in your case, a 2560x1440 display area. (I.e., if you check the "View" menu, you should find the "Fit to Screen" the only available viewing option while most third-party apps function in a similar manner whether or not other options are greyed out.) Thus, you must make the choice of seeing all screen objects in the 5K resolution mode with text and icons too small to really read/see or use the Retina/HiDPI (half-resolution) "Default" mode which scales the video to fit the available screen display area.