Hi Stan,
I have to put in a bit of a disclaimer here. I have the first-generation Razr V3, which is now a little over 2 years old. I assumed from your first post that you had the same model. It should be nearly the same as your V3m vis-a-vis the Mac, though I'm not 100 per cent certain.
Anyway, to try to answer your questions:
How do I get calenders and contacts to bluetooth from the computer to the phone? The application Address Book seems to have a bluetooth in it but calenders does not. Is this perhaps how you sync contacts and why you do not sync calenders?
After you've paired the phone (which you've done), you have to set it up in iSync by choosing Devices > Add Device. If you've already set up the phone via USB, you might want to remove it, by clicking on its icon in the iSync panel and choosing Devices > Remove Device, to prevent confusion. After it's been set up on Bluetooth, the phone should sync the same way as it did on USB.
The Bluetooth function in Address Book doesn't work with the V3. And no, I don't sync calendars because I don't use the application in either the phone or the Mac. After you add the phone to iSync, clicking on the phone's icon will show a drop-down dialogue allowing you to choose to sync contacts or calendars or both.
...so what trumps what, the phone or the computer? Does the timing of an entry or deletion matter in 2 way syncing?
When I add or remove contacts from the phone and then sync it with the computer, the changes are reflected in the computer, and vice-versa. I don't know what will happen should I sync after making separate changes in the phone and computer. I don't know which would take precedence and am too afraid to try in case my contacts get garbled!
As you can tell, I am not an expert on this. But I hope I have been of some help.