Steve,
I agree with your main point – color-correction is a moving target.
However, as producers, we should produce to a recognized specification so our work matches other professionally produced content.
Although a consumer set will distort your work, it will distort all other work the same way.
Musicians, unless they are just jamming, tune to an external reference, not relative to one another. Color bars serve the same function as a tone generator.
Extending the analogy a bit further – some musicians have perfect pitch. I've know people who have the same sense about color.
For those us without this discerning eye, there are diminishing returns the further along the color correction path you go. I think this is part of what you are saying.
I also agree with your assertion that color correction is a complicated, messy business.
For people new to the business, this difficulty is not an excuse for not learning about an important part of our craft. It is a reason to make some compromises as we choose our monitoring devices.
It is important to make those compromises from a informed stand point. To make a good compromise, we have to know what we are giving up.
FWIW, I use a PVM 1354Q and a Leader composite waveform monitor and vectorscope.
The suggestion above to use a display monitor is a good one, I think. I also think Sony Luma LCDs and Panasonic BT-LH LCDs can be good choices as well. There are variations in color and grayscale reproduction in these choices, but as long as you know what the nature of the variation is, these tools can all work.
With respect,
Tom