I am facing similar issue with my home Wifi. I have Google WiFi router at home. I have two devices with same iOS versions: iPhone 7 and iPhone XS Max. 7 has no issue connecting to WiFi calling (ATT Wifi symbol shows up correctly and consistently on top left corner). However, with XS Max, it rarely connects to WiFi calling mode. I periodically check whether it is in WiFi calling mode or not by pulling the menu from top right corner.
As regards to Apple page on WiFi calling support, where is says that WiFi calling will not work on some WiFi network, that is very useless help page. Without providing any details on which type of WiFi has issues, users/readers of the page can’t really do any thing with it.
I suspect it may be XS Max device issue ... sigh