I agree that the issue is iOS. We have multiple apple devices at home (and many non-apple as well). The only ones that are slow are those running iOS 12.1 and above. In fact, the slowest devices are those on iOS 12.1.4. They are fine on 4G though.
We do have network congestion (though not too bad on the 5GHz bands) as every apartment in our condo has at least 1 wifi ssid. But android, Windows and Linux devices are able to cope. And, as I mentioned above, those iDevices not on 12.1.4 behave better.
I have also noticed that the iOS 12 devices make many more DHCP IP lease requests than any of the other devices. As the lease period on my network is 24 hours, I find this very odd behaviour.
Before anybody suggests I reconfigure my router, please note that I'm not doing that for the 3 devices not working correctly (when they did work fine before updating) as the rest of my devices work fine.
Written on my iPhone 8