After reading your problem again, I believe we probably had the exact same thing. I have great news, though--my memory finally went down.
After reading the Crucial instructions (see my earlier post) I was more bold about the amount of force to use in pushing the sticks down, and I
still couldn't get them down.
To check if the slots were in the wrong place, I ejected one of the original Apple sticks and compared the side of it to the side of the new sticks, and sure enough they were identical. At that point I decided to push even harder--it actually took an INSANE amount of force to get the sticks to click down--it was quite painful for my finger tips. If you guys have seen the instructional video on how to install memory on the OWC website, this was nothing like that. After sweating and applying a
brutal amount of force, the sticks did finally pop down and the two side tabs clicked into place. When I booted the computer, the memory was there!
I would just caution you to make sure you're pushing straight down, because with that amount of force, pushing at any angle other than vertical would surely break the stick.
Good luck,
Ashwin