2000+ contacts on iPhone and 0 on Address Book (no syncing at all)

Before you read on, I know this subject has been discussed on other threads. Its just that none of them have actually stated a functional solution.

My problem:

I have over 2000 contacts and their respective info (emails, address, alternate phone numbers, pictures, etc.) on my iPhone (1st gen. on 2.1 firmware) and for some mystical and divine reason I just can't sync them to Address Book via iTunes. Currently, my Address Book just has 2 contacts: me & Apple Inc.

After a few days of research, I've done all of the following:

1- reset sync history (both in iSync and in Mobile "freaking" Me preferences)
2- deleted files on the "Applications Support folder", "Preferences folder", etc. (there are a few different procedures for this deletion but none of them seem to work for me)
3- created the same groups on Address Book as I had them before (they're stored on my iPhone), so that maybe, while syncing, Address Book would recognize that the same groups are stored on my iPhone and finally sync
4- activated Mobile Me contacts syncing (this just deletes all of my contacts on the iPhone since the syncing cycle starts at my PowerBook (why, I don't know); and, since I've hadn't been able to feed Mobile Me with my contacts info from my PowerBook, Mobile Me simply feeds my iPhone that emptiness which was fed from my PowerBook.) And how did I get my contacts again if Mobile Me erased them, you ask? By restoring from a back up which has them. This is my only oasis.
5- syncing my iPhone with another user account (guess account and even another administrative account)
6- syncing my iPhone with another mac (my roommate's MacBook (although I did press the replace data on this alternative)
7- restoring iPhone firmware
8- downloading SQLite reader and a certain script and trying to interpret the info on the back up files (no progress on that)
9- uninstalling, reinstalling iTunes 8 (and versions 7.5 and later); this doesn't seem to work because for some reason a specific iTunes version only works with certain specific iPhone firmware version. For example, iTunes 7.5 only works with firmwares 1.0 - 1.1.1. Come to think of it, what I haven't tried is to download iTunes to 7.6 AND downgrading my iPhone firmware, at least to 1.1.4 (days when everything just worked! )

Anyway, you name it. I've tried everything.

I'm beginning to think that somewhere in time (like for example on the day Mobile "freaking" Me was launched) Apple edited the iPhone syncing procedures that iTunes does, in the sense that now (after iTunes 7.7 and Leopard) iTunes just looks for the information to sync at different folders (at from a Address Book point of view), while on previous versions it looked somewhere else (the correct folders). I reach to these conclusions because the problems started on iTunes 7.7 and from that point on, under the info tab (specifically on the Contacts area), the small rectangle stopped showing my contacts groups. Of course, if I created them again they would show up, but with no contacts info per se was synced at all since there is no contact info on my Address Book.

Is there someone out there who can help (and this includes you, all mighty Steveness!)?

P.D.
I deny having to manually enter the 2000 + contact info on Address Book just so I can take advantage of a push service (Mobile Me) which cost me over $200 and simply DOESN'T PUSH. (Yes, I bought the extra space).