I feel the same way man... but after countless hours of looking around, the freezer trick did it for me... is the iphone wifi icon greyed for you, or does it just not join any networks?
The freezer method I did on mine fixed the fact that it did not join any networks, no greying out of the wifi or anything.
Also i might note, I turned off wifi, turned off the phone, put it in the freezer (in a bag) for 10 mins, turned the phone back on, put the phone right next to my wifi antenna and then turned on wifi and it joined, it JUST joined and I couldnt believe it.
so after basically going through ptretty much what youve gone through, this POS iphone had only 1 problem: it was the wifi chip and it was overheating... The processor or software is prob coded to diable it after too many thermal warnings.. leading me to believe that if you were to maybe tweak the Thermal.plist via ssh (or whatever the file is called) it might fix future issues.
However I do suggest you try the freezer method 1 more time, or 2x :P also just keep hitting join repeatedly after youre trying to join next to the antenna...
I really hope things get working for you, and again I totally agree Apple developers/manufactures, and R&D is A TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT.