I have a similar problem and a possible solution to yours and mine.
I attempted a restore due to the fact that my icons didn't match the apps, and I got stuck. Mine gets stuck on "connect to iTunes". So, I connect to iTunes and iTunes doesn't even recognize it. It happened again on Saturday when I attempted the 3.0.1 update. Both times I had to drive all the way to Pittsburgh, which is 70 miles one way. The Genius attaches my iPhone to his computer and blam-o, it updates fine.
This time I asked for a new phone. He told me that it's not the phone, since he is able to update/restore it fine. The problem, he says, is that when I activated it the very first time, my PC downloaded a corrupt file. This file, he says, is used in updating and restoring. I can use a computer, but have no idea on the techy stuff, so maybe someone else can argue the point.
Anyway, I have a PC, so these are the directions he gave me, and I did do them myself and it did not affect the syncing on my phone. It's up to you as to whether you want to try it. I took a chance 🙂 Plus, if you have a MAC, I don't know where your files would be.
DIRECTIONS:
Close iTunes > My Computer > Local Disc > Documents and Settings > Click whatever your computer log in is (Mine for example, is HP_Owner) > Application Data > Apple Computer > iTunes From the iTunes file, delete anything that has anything to do with the iPhone...you should see about 3 or 4, I can't remember, I know there was iPhone Software Updates and a couple more.
So, I came home and did all of that. He said it should restore and update fine after that, because iTunes will download a new file next time. I didn't try it, because if it DIDN'T work, then I'll have to head back to Pittsburgh. I'm going to wait for 3.1 and see what happens then.
If you try this and your phone then restores or updates, please let me know! Like I said, I followed the directions to a "T" and I've seen no harmful affects. I can't say it worked, but it didn't cause anything bad to happen to my computer or iTunes either. Good luck!
*also of note, prior to going to the Apple Store, I attempted all of the usual tricks first to "unbrick" my iPhone, such as uninstalling and reinstalling iTunes and it did not help. Also, my iPhone is not hacked or jailbroken in any way.