Thanks, wow you do have to push hard, much harder than all other ipods I had/have, and seems to be same regardless of which headphones I try.
Pity the support guys at apple didn't cover this (apple support are you listening), they took me through their reset & then all they could do was suggest I returned it.
One v disappointed birthday girl & cross Dad, & new ipod later I find it's just the same, glad I checked back here before further trouble.