I feel your pain. I started having this issues shortly after upgrading to 10.6.3. I am not sure that is the reason why the computer crashes, but it seems to be since so many users are having the problem.
I tried everything on this post and then some, I called Apple Care, they were really nice and walked me through some possible solutions, unfortunately nothing worked, I even formatted the computer back to 10.6, the ran system update and the pain was still there. Apple Care recommended having the HD checked at the Apple Store where they ran deeper HD check, the test proved a failure in the drive so I got it replaced, they said it was ok to update the system and even restoring it from a Time Machine back up.
After the update, I let the computer fall asleep and once I woke it up, it froze again, full screen on gray this time.
I will be calling Apple Care, I believe is not a hardware issue, hopefully version 10.6.4 will fix the bug, but in the mean time, I am dodging the freezes by keeping the computer awake (using Caffeine app), and turning it off overnight.
*I have been able to work through several hours with no freezes, just keeping it awake.*
Good luck, and patience.
Ref. Link:
http://lightheadsw.com/caffeine/