associated devices in itunes

I have the max associated devices in iTunes. But, only 3 are actually mine. The rest are showing up from family members that are on my family sharing plan. I was under the impression I could have 10 devices myself and they all could have 10 devices. How do I unassociate them of my iTunes devices and am still able to family share with them? Do they need to be signed in on their devices in setting and iTunes & app store under their individual icloud accounts or under mine since I family share?