Dreaded Restore Password

So i brought a new phone. Backed up my old phone to iTunes (which i've always done) and didnt bother backing up to iCloud. Restored my old phone. Then attempted to restore my new phone with the latest back up from iTunes. So it asks for a password and i enter my iTunes password and it doesnt accept. I enter a few more passwords and still no luck. Now am getting worried, so give Apple a call. They tell me its the encrypted backup password...which i have absolutely no idea about as it's something i would have entered like 4/5 years ago! They tell me the only way to access this backup is by remembering the password....it's got to the point where i've exhausted almost 50 passwords and i still cant get it right! Am quite devastated as its looking like i have to accept losing 5 years of memories.

Who else has had this issue?? It's 2019 and Apple dont allow you to reset your password to access the backup! Really?

Why is it not possible to transfer the iTunes backup to iCloud?? - which i'm led to believe does not require a password to restore from.

I stupidly used to note some passwords in the Notes app. I may have noted this one down too. Is there no way i can access the backup file on my Macbook and trawl through it to find something that i think may resemble the password? Guessing as its encrypted there would be no way i could read the file anyway??

Somebody sympathise with me....anybody out there who can help :(