Forgot passcode on iphone XR

Then you did not choose Restore, you chose Update. See Step 3:

Locate your device on your computer. When you see the option to Restore or Update, choose Restore. Finder or iTunes will download software for your device.

See this for instructions, If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your device is disabled - Apple Support

I have the same problem, also XR. I followed the steps, ran the update, and used my previous passcode (which I did remember). But it said recovery failed. You are required to enter a passcode. If you click "cancel" it just restarts the process of asking for the code. I don't understand this.

I don't understand. I have backed up my device before, so I did recognize the window that appeared and I selected "update". It took a little while, but the update did process and the phone restarted and went into recover mode. It has you swipe up to recover and asks for the passcode. I do have some technical skills, so I am fairly certain I followed the instructions correctly. What did I miss?

Yes, restore removes the passcode and sets the phone back to factory defaults. You can then restore your most recent iTunes or iCloud backup. The backup does not include your (forgotten) passcode, so you can create a new one.

Let me make a suggestion. It won’t help this time, but for the future...

Go to Settings/{your name}/iCloud and turn on iCloud Backup. Then every night connect the phone to power and Wi-Fi and lock it. A new backup will be created during the night. If you have a lot of data you may need more than the default free 5 GB iCloud storage. You can expand it to 50 GB for 99¢ a month.

If you actually follow the instructions correctly in that link you will not be required to enter a passcode.

Ah, I see. So choosing Restore will remove the passcode, then? But it will restore to a previous version of content? (Thus losing any current content acquired after the backup)?

Thank you. I was hoping to just remove the passcode, but keep the recent content. I guess that's not possible. I do appreciate your time and assistance, however!

Thank you very much! Happy Holidays to you!