Yeah the situation sucks big time. In my case I'd broken my knee so couldn't sit at my workstation properly, so opted for the 16". Had to drive my manual car across town on apple's request to get logicboard repairs, even though I'd ordered it online and had it delivered by mail. For the replacement, they sent a courier out to pick it up. So how rude of apple. I guess yes, I had to get the repairs first due to their crazy if this -> then that support structure. :/
My process is always to do PRAM/SMC reset and a full wipe of nvme drive. Like selecting 'delete volume' and then erasing the disk, then doing an Internet Recovery instead of recovering from partition on drive. It's important to upgrade your system from System Preferences before the Internet Recovery to get your partition updated also, as Internet Recovery matches the partition version. If your system is too buggy to do the upgrade, then Internet Recovery -> upgrade -> Internet Recovery to get a fresh install of the latest macOS, instead of installing versions over the top of each other.
My first machine was trash. Freeze and restart every half hour in the middle of use. Freeze every time waking from sleep. 10.14.1 -> 10.14.2 with that one. Ran very hot. I followed the above setup steps numerous times.
My next machine was 10.14.2 - 10.14.3 and froze 'here and there', I'd get about 3-4 hours use average then get one, opening an app, or playing a youtube video for example. Video editing triggered it almost every time. Every other wake from sleep the system would restart, but not all. Ran very hot. I followed the above steps in bold for setup.
The machine after that was the same as above, 10.14.3. I followed the above steps in bold for setup.
Now my replacement, 10.14.3 -> 10.14.4 has been completely fine. Quiet and cool. Hasn't frozen once. Have had one bad magic restart but all T2 machines are getting that on occasion (software bug).
As much as a pain as it is, I highly suggest upgrading your system to 10.14.4 (Internet Recovery downloads the same macOS version on your partition, so upgrade is important), then follow the above bolded steps to a T. Your issue sounds different and could well be a software bug on an iteration of macOS that is full of bugs, but the right OS install steps fix it.
People who already have issues and are simply upgrading over the top of earlier macOS versions are not going to stop having issues. The disk needs to be fully wiped, and Internet Recovery installing the latest macOS fresh.