Hi Scott,
It sounds like you're trying to disconnect a call and I want to help.
You should be able to end a call by pressing and holding, the same way you can answer a call:
"When a call comes in while you're wearing either AirPod, Siri can announce the call. To answer with AirPods Pro, press the force sensor. To answer with AirPods (1st or 2nd generation), double-tap an AirPod. Later, you can press the force sensor on an AirPod Pro or double-tap an AirPod to hang up or switch to another call."
Connect and use your AirPods and AirPods Pro - Apple Support
You can also change what the force sensor does as seen here:
Adjust the settings of your AirPods - Apple Support
Good luck.
Thanks for using the Apple Support Communities.