Proving who you are and what own has nothing to do with any of this. The screen lock passcode is a purely device specific and device stored passcode. Thus the one, and the only way to reset it is to erase the device, returning it to the welcome and setup screen where a new passcode can be set. That is the only mechanism to reset a screen lock passcode - thus it is also the only thing Apple, or your carrier could possible do as well.
Again, there is no “back door” or mechanism for anyone to get into a device a reset the passcode without erasing it - Apple has very publicly said they have never built any such mechanism into iOS and they never will. Law enforcement and the US government have tried to pressure them to do so, but they have refused to do so and have documentation in their privacy statement saying they never will yield to such pressure.
It’s your device, your chosen passcode, and your data. Nobody but you is responsible for it. If the data matters so much to you, then why wasn’t it backed up? Nobody else is going to take responsibility for your data, or your inability to remember your passcodes (there are plenty of ways for you to keep them accessible - password managers, secure notes, a piece of paper locked in a drawer or home safe,...).
