recovery mode

After recently updating my iphone 7 plus to IOS 13.4 my phone went into recovery mode whilst connected to my MacBook Air, yet when connected to iTunes I was prompted to update my phone or restore it. Ive tried to do both and it says at the end my phone lights up with the apple sign but doesn't load then automatically goes back to the connect phone to laptop/itunes screen. I get a pop up after each attempt saying my phone isn't connected unable to connect and so. How can I get out of this loop?? ive tried resetting my phone (on button and volume down button ) but nothing changes