You have found yourself in quite a situation. Depending on your settings, trying an incorrect passcode 10 times can result in deleting all of your data. Although not everyone sets that option. However, after 8 or 9 incorrect tries, you can disable the device. There is no option to disable your passcode remotely from any other device, and if you do continue to use incorrect passcodes, the iPhone will disable and once that happens, your data is no longer accessible. Your decision not to backup the device has made your dilemma more difficult. The iPhone can be configured one time to do a hands-off backup on a daily basis. At night when you go to bed, you plug in the device to power to charge, make sure it is connected to wi-fi and the screen is locked, and it will backup to iCloud daily.
At this point, you have the choice to keep trying to guess the passcode and risk disabling the device which will make your data inaccessible, or you restore the device to be able to use it again and wipe your data. Either way, you will end up having to restore it and lose your data, it is just a decision as to how long you want to stare at the phone and not be able to use it.