iPhone xr froze with a black screen and white spinning wheel. I cant force power down

Force restart iPhone - Apple Support ⬅︎ try this again...otherwise it has to be serviced by Apple...

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1. Press and quickly release the volume up button.
2. Press and quickly release the volume down button.
3. Press and hold the side button.
4. When the Apple logo appears, release the button.

If your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch won't turn on or is frozen - Apple Support

Try Recovery Mode...⬇︎⬇︎⬇︎Full instructions in link...⬆︎⬆︎⬆︎

Connect your device to a computer. On a Mac with macOS Catalina 10.15, open Finder. On a Mac with macOS Mojave 10.14 or earlier, or on a PC, open iTunes.

 Press and quickly release the Volume Up button. Press and quickly release the Volume Down button. Then, press and hold the Side button until you see the recovery mode screen.

iTune will not recognize a frozen device until you put it into Recovery Mode. That can take more than one try. Make sure that you are following the steps closely as far as not connecting the device to the computer right away until you have tried powering it off and holding the side button.

Didn't work. iTunes isn't recognizing the device, even tho Photos App is. What about 3rd party apps?