Hi helpmepleasepleasepleaseplease,
Thanks for coming to Apple Support Communities for help today with Family Sharing. It sounds like you are concerned you are no longer the organizer of your family and Ask To Buy isn't working.
Anytime you are concerned you have a compromised account, changing the password would be a recommended step: If you think your Apple ID has been compromised.
However, someone wouldn't be able to take over your organizer role in your family. You would need to disband the group and then the family would need to be re-formed under another organizer.
There are also certain steps that would need to happen if a child account is moved to another family: Move a child to another group using Family Sharing
For the issue with Ask To Buy, please see this article's steps: If Ask to Buy isn't working.
Have a fantastic day!