how do I change the apple id verification on my new iPad? it is currently associated with my sons' email, which he nor I have no idea how that came to be.

Per my reply to your earlier post, concerning sharing of Apps between users, all users should have their own AppleID.

Sharing a single AppleID between users is fraught with issues and “gotcha’s” - and should be avoided. You are clearly experiencing issues concerned with sharing an AppleID.

First, do you have an AppleID of your own? If not, you should create your own - and use it.

Once you have your own AppleID, you will need to resolve current issues with your iPad. The easiest method to do this is to prepare the iPad properly using this procedure:

https://support.apple.com/en-gb/HT201351

When the iPad reboots - and you set-up as new, use your own AppleID and associated Password - not your Son’s AppleID.

Then, follow the guidance provided in my previous reply - and setup Family Sharing.

Share App Store, iTunes Store and Apple Books purchases with Family Sharing – Apple Support

Set up Family Sharing – Apple Support

Hello,

The iPad is locked with Activation Lock. There is no way around unlocking Activation Lock without inserting the device’s associated Apple ID. If this is not an option you will have to find the original receipt for the device that clearly shows the serial number. Once you have this document you will need to take this document and iPad into an Apple retail location.

Activation Lock