I have given my wife my old iPad how an I change Apple ID on it

You won't be able to do that. You can't just change one person's Apple ID to the Apple ID of another person. You'll have to do what you mention you don't want to do to get things changed the way you want. You'd have to use What to do before you sell, give away, or trade in your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201351.

When changing to the new ID, there may be some data loss, but you can minimize it. If syncing photos with iCloud, ensure Optimization is turned off in Settings/Your Name/iCloud/Photos and/or in Photos/Preferences/iCloud. Then make sure full resolution photos are on the device/computer. When signing out of iCloud, if asked whether you want to retain data, choose yes. Messages conversations will be lost if they are addressed to the ID. See the article below for other places that the old ID should be removed. See Winston Churchill's response in the below discussion. If possible, also set up Family Sharing  between the IDs to keep access to your apps/purchases. 

 How to switch Apple IDs on your iPhone or iPad.      

How to transfer all files from one iCloud account to another.       

What to do after you change your Apple ID or password - Apple Support.      

Family Sharing.         

Family Sharing - Set up.