My wife started family sharing with me on our new XS phones. Her music however is not received by me. Please help

You have to download each other’s purchase on your own.

For music, launch the iTunes app

Tap on more in the bottom right corner.

Tap on Purchased in the next screen

Tap on the Family Member in the next screen.

Then tap on Music in the next screen

Find the music that you want to download and tap the download icon in order to download it to your phone.

You’re welcome.