Deleted messages in ICloud - gone forever??

I tried something new and allowed my messages to backup in the ICloud. I deleted several (many) out of the ICloud and realized it just wasn't what I wanted to do. I turned off the message sync and prompted it to download everything back to my phone. Wasn't paying attention. There was an automatic backup this morning and this afternoon I realized 80% of my text messages are now gone.

1. They are gone forever aren't they :(
2. Would the backup delete old stuff and replace with new, thus also deleting what was there?
3. Can I restore from an old back up/just restore messages.

This *****. I wish it was clearer what happened with these things. There are huge gaps in time in the stuff that is left, like missing everything after 2017 type of gap. I have no idea what I did.