Hi all, first of all thank you so much for your responses. To summarize, with all of your help I was able to do it today, but it was a bumpy road
First thing I did on Saturday was update the 2012 Mac to Catalina, it crashed but magically it installed, however then it wouldn’t log on, I thought I was going to wipe it and lose everything, but after restarting probably 50 times (not exaggerating) it booted!!
Second was open the old library on the new OS, this was crashing every time, so I literally had to delete all of my non-native Apps (this Computer hasn’t been used for the last 3-4 years so didn’t care) and I was able to reopen Photos after waiting ~1 hour for it to boot. Worth noting I didn’t want to restart because I was scared it wouldn’t boot the OS again.
When I had my new library file ready I tried was able to successfully (again, bumpy lol) transfer it through a shared folder between the two computers on my home network. AirDrop wasn’t working i guess it just don’t support 40 GB files even though theoretically it should. I wasn’t to scared about this because worst case I would buy a thunderbolt cable and link the two computers and ultimately transfer but didn’t want to spend the extra $
Once all file was successfully transferred to my 2020 i7, 16GB ram, SSD computer it was a walk in the Park lol. I did buy PowerPhotos and the merging was incredibly easy, also it deleted around 5K duplicate pictures of around 70K in total, and created a new 79GB file that works like a charm. I thought the new computer had 20GB but apparently it had more.
THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who took time and helped out. My old computer is already wiped and it works much more better after a fresh Catalina start ready to be given to the next owner!