iOS 14 update not showing

I saw someone suggest killing the settings app

How to force an app to close on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support

Then do a force restart of your iPhone. see if it finds the iOS 14 update when you're back up and running

Here is a link that tells how to do a force restart

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201412

what if you go into Customize Automatic Updates and turn off those switches? then maybe go thru that restart process again..

I had the same problem, i went to settings> general and deleted all my profiles i had installed then the update should appear

You were probably in the iOS 13 beta program. You need to go to Settings/General/Profiles (near the bottom, below VPN) and delete the iOS 13 beta profile, then restart your phone.