My iPhone wont connect with my Mac unless I upgrade y MacOS, which I dont want to do. Work around?

It caught a number of us by surprise when that little update came out some time ago. There were other discussions about it here in the forums so that’s how I knew about it. I swear that there is an Apple kb article about it somewhere, but I haven’t been able to find it in months.

Anyway, I’m glad that you took the leap of faith, downloaded the software and that things are working for you now.

You haven’t told us what iOS your device is running and what OS the Mac is running. I can tell you that my iPhone XR and iPad Air 3, both running iOS 14, sync with my MBP running El Capitan 10.11.6 and iTunes 12.8. Those are the minimum require to to sync an iOS 14 device with a Mac.

Syncing to a Mac or PC requires:

• macOS Catalina 10.15 using the Finder
• macOS El Capitan 10.11.6 through macOS Mojave 10.14.6 using iTunes 12.8 or later
• Windows 7 or later using iTunes 12.10 or later (free download from itunes.com/download)

Are you sure that the message says that you have to update the Mac OS or does the message state that there is a minor update that you need to do in order to connect? That minor update is an update to iTunes.

When was the last time that you synced with your Mac?