Hello Dorothyann80,
It sounds like both you and your husband are being asked to share your Wi-Fi password with each other repeatedly and have turned off "ask to join networks" but are still receiving these message prompts. We understand the importance of managing the notifications you're prompted with and we're here to help with the following resource.
Based on the information provided, it sounds like you may be referring to the feature described in: How to share your Wi-Fi password from your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch
In this case, we recommend making sure both of your devices are updated, as this ensures optimal performance capabilities and iOS 14.0.1 was just released: Apple security updates.
Please reach out to Get Support in the event you need any further guidance troubleshooting this issue following updating both devices.
We appreciate you reaching out to Apple Support Communities.
Be well!