stuck on contacting the iPhone software update serve

Hey, Adam1198.

Thanks for using Apple Support Communities. We're happy to help!

Be sure to follow each step in the following support article:

If iTunes can't contact the software update server for iPhone, iPad, or iPod - Apple Support

If those steps don't resolve the issue updating, please reply back with the following information:

-What does the display on your iPhone currently show?

-Are you trying to install iOS 14?

-Do you have any iTunes updates available in the Mac App Store? Update to the latest version of iTunes - Apple Support

-Are there any known outages in your area? Apple - Support - System Status

We look forward to hearing back. Take care.