Apple CarPlay - Unable to Use

I am having a terrible time with Apple Car Play, which seems to be an issue with syncing between my phone any my car

whenever my car detects my iPhone, I am completely unable to control the screen:

• ‘setting’ button on my car screen seems to be pressed permanently with a ‘dotting’ sound all of the time (as if I’m pressing it but am not)
• Siri is automatically starts for no reason and I can’t stop it
• My phone skips songs when playing which reflects on my screen - unable to control
• Unable to access apps ie Spotify to control music
• Screen on car skips in and out - slides back and forth which is terrible when using the sat nav.

I have disconnected, reconnected, restarted, called the car manufacturer - nothing works.

All I can think is the latest update (14.2) is not compatible with my CarPlay. The issue does not appear to be with my’s film ware. It’s like my iPhone is completely out of sync with the car.

Can anyone help, it’s driving me mad!!

thanks

Fiona