Sadly, none of that helps.
I also have this issue. It's not that they won't connect - they will. But, the connection drops fairly quickly and I do not hear the confirmation tone in my ears. Trying to change the sound output to the AirPods Pro is futile as the option to do so disappears the moment the cursor hovers over them.
The problem seems to be exaggerated by using Airplay - at least for me.
I also think the problem is not in the AirPods themselves, but rather a bug in Mac OS - because rebooting the Mac usually brings it back to 'normal'. I had done the AirPods reset and this did not fix the problem. The issue seems to be in the bluetooth section as the connection gets lost there.
I'm now on Mac OS Big Sur, 11.0.1 on a 2019 16" MacBook Pro.