Hi Asfg1952,
If the email is grayed out and doesn't give you the option to even sign out of the iPad, this means sign out is restricted due to parental controls on her Apple ID. You'll want to confirm that "Account Changes" is set to Allow on both the iPhone and iPad as it will prevent you from signing out of a device when set to Don't Allow:
Use parental controls on your child's iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support
You can allow changes to other settings and features, the same way you can allow changes to privacy settings.
- Go to Settings and tap Screen Time.
- Tap Content & Privacy Restrictions. If asked, enter your passcode.
- Under Allow Changes, select the features or settings you want to allow changes to and choose Allow or Don't Allow.
Here are some features and settings you can allow changes for:
- Account Changes: Prevent changes to settings for Accounts & Passwords"
If you do see an option to enter the Apple ID password in order to sign out, but she has forgotten the password, she can try to reset it following the steps here:
If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support
If you need additional assistance with this process, you can also contact Apple Support using the following link:
Get Support
Take care.