Power off the entire network......all devices.......modem, router, AirPort Express(es), computers, phones, etc in any order that you want
Wait a minute
Start up the modem only and let it run for a minute or two by itself
Start up the next device connected to the modem and let it run for a full minute
Keep starting up devices one at a time about a minute apart until the entire network is back up
Try to update the firmware on the Express again
To test the Express to see if it is working correctly on the network, temporarily plug in a pair of stereo headphones into the audio port. If things are working that way, you know the Express is working OK and the issue may in the cable connecting the Express to your receiver.
So far, we are assuming that the Express is fully operational. If it won't take the update or there is no audio when you test using the headphones, the Express may be defective. Unfortunately, there is not much more that you can do other than try resetting and then setting up the Express again and restarting devices.