Does anyone know a lot about hands-free and/or Voice control with Apple’s set of technologies?

My life’s surrounded by technologies that are deemed "Hands-free" or with promises about being fully “Voice control” accessible to me. Which is great! Because I NEED that kind of technology to overcome the disabilities of paralysis. HOWEVER, and despite nearly 15 years a practice, I never ever have great luck or a practiced easement of solving, shaking, or breaking out of all the problems, with all kinds of things. I'm always getting wrong words, really wrong words, unusual strings of commands that are available, but then, suddenly aren't accepted by the tech, or I'm always at a loss for finding a command to use, and to use it consistently without failures that necessitate a go around command. I can get by most things but that's because I'm a tenacious, stubborn, unwilling to quit fool, so I'm frequently using my incredibly limited physical abilities to overcome incredible, unsolvable, always and forever growing and showing list of issues, errors, unwanted, unknown and unknowing technical difficulties! And yet, with all the informational videos, tutorials, and technical assistance presented to me, there isn't one disabled person alone in a quiet room as they turned from talking yelling as frustration gives way to anger, as they use "Hands-free, Voice controlled" anything. So why is it always like that for me? I have an iPhone X, an iPad 4 Mini, that's really become useless despite what Apple customer care just recently said, Apple Lightning port headphones, and Apple’s advised upgraded AirPods Pro, both of which make the same kinds of mistakes, and an Apple Watch Six, which apparently can't do much of anything with voice control alone; something I only learned after purchasing. And yet, as far as all of these technologies, from the oldest to the newest of them, constantly, consistently, and continuously make for all kinds of difficulties, so…

What is up with that? What am I doing wrong? What do I need to know to actually functionally use the hands-free, Voice controlled technology without all the problems, all the unachievable actions and commands? Or perhaps, does anyone out there know much about this tech stuff? And if you do, do you have as many issues and failures as I do? Does anyone no much of anything about hands-free or voice controlled functions, commands, programs, or advised best technologies?