iPhone 12 Pro Max not calculating storage, can not backup on MackBook

I need to backup my new iPhone 12 Pro Max to my Mackbook with Big Spur. The backup just never ends, not sure if it actually starts, just shows "backing up iPhone" 2 days it stays the same.

I the proceeded to delete 90gig of photos hoping this might be contributing to the time that the Mackbook takes. Also cleared the recently deleted folder on photos.

However, when I go to storage on the iPhone" calculating category sizes" never stops!!

I have turned off iCloud photos.

Hard reset the iPhone.

Turned iCloud off and on again.

Now when I connect the iPhone to my Macbook to do a backup , the the iPhone storage still indicates the 90gig of photos on the iPhone.

I am very frustrated, anybody, help please.