icloud drive shared folder not syncing

I shared a folder with another account that has a Mac and an iPad connected. If I add a file to the shared folder, the other Mac sees it within a couple fo seconds, the iPad doesn't see it (files app or opening the file from numbers) until I open a different file, then it syncs.

It's a new numbers file we create every day, it used to work then stopped working recently. I've tried updating all devices to the latest OS and still fails.

My iPad sees the file right away too.

We also had an issue where the same iPad on this second account updated the spreadsheet, but not all of the updates flowed through to the cloud.

I tried completely resetting the iPad and setting it up again. I tried unsharing and sharing the folder again, I've tried moving it to a different network.

We've waited hours and the new file doesn't show up.