IPAD update is in conflict with what Itunes says is the update when I plug in to download

Whether or not you are able to update your iPad to a newer version of iOS/iPadOS will be dictated by your iPad model - and the currently installed version of iOS. You can find this information here:

Settings > General > About

Not sure which iPad you have? Identify your iPad model.

Here is a list of the highest version of iOS supported by the older models of iPad (for simplicity - “generations” are shortened to a number) that are restricted in their ability to be updated:

iPad1 - iOS 5.1.1

iPad2, iPad3 and iPad mini1 - iOS 9.3.5 (WiFi Only models), iOS 9.3.6 (WiFi & Cellular)

iPad4 - iOS 10.3.3 (WiFi Only), iOS 10.3.4 (WiFi & Cellular)

iPad Air1, iPad mini2 and iPad mini3 - iOS 12.5.1

Newer models, not appearing in this list, are all able to be updated to the current version, iPadOS 14.4.

If your iPad is capable of being updated to a more recent version of iOS/iPadOS than is currently installed, these support pages outline both the available methods by which the update can be performed - and troubleshooting should you experience difficulties:

Update your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch – Apple Support

If you can't update or restore your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch – Apple Support

If your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch won’t update - Apple Support

iOS update and restore errors – Apple Support