i can't get into the email address associated with my apple ID to reset my password

If you are trying to get the email addresses mail password, log onto the email provider's web site, and look for a password reset option.

If you forgot the Apple ID password, enter the Apple (iCloud) ID, and click Forgot Password. See if you can get a Rescue or Notification  email option if necessary.

Apple ID - Manage            

Apple ID – Forgot Password