Am I the administrator for my Apple ID
I think my ex wife has linked my accounts to her email somehow.
iPad, iPadOS 14
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There is no 'administrator' as such (as there is on a Mac). Anyone with the ID and password can do anything within your account. You should change your password. You should also set up 2 factor authenticatioin if you haven't already done so, it's designed precisely to stop others from getting into your account even if they know the password.
Change your Apple ID password - Apple Support