how to reset iPhone XS in recovery mode when I've forgotten the passcode?

hello yes I've looked It up and tried to figure it out on my own. however whenever I finally get the iPhone to the recovery screen and try to start to erase the phone it starts to download the latest update and it never finishes. I've read that the iPhone exits recovery mode after 15 mins, but is there a way to make I longer? or at least have it continue to download the update rather than starting from the beginning every time?