as a further update, on reboot into normal mode (ie, not safeboot) I ejected the sd card. Now, around two and a half hours later, I just checked and the sd has reappeared. Hasn't been kicked out yet, but that will come.
So, to be clear;
Booting into safe mode STILL lets the OS 'randomly' mount an unmounted sd card on its own volition, with no user input.
Clearing caches etc, effected by the safeboot furthermore has no effect (but then, why should it, as the same behaviour was observed in SB mode anyway, indicating it is NOT a bad cache/errant extension/dodgy user daemon etc)
The mounting/unmounting of the sd card is not reported in the system log, which is in of itself a little odd, but hey ho.
My suspicion is that something (bug) is 'randomly' interrupting power to the sd card usb interface, though some other users here have reported this same eject/mount activity with external usb devices too, so it maybe the whole usb line being taken down. This interruption is then compensated for by the OS, causing it to mount a usb device, whether that be external or sd card connection point, as it would appear to the os that the device has just been plugged in.
This interruption would explain both the force-ejecting-by-the-os AND the os-mounting-when-not-wanted, as the last one should certainly not happen other than on reboot (force relaunching the finder, for example, does not mount the card)
If anyone has a better explanation and solution, then as prince charles might say, 'I'm all ears'