AirPods Pro Not Showing spatial audio selection

I had a pair of AirPods Pro for about a year, But I never get to experience spatial or stereo audio because my iPhone won’t let me to. Choose. When they connect, they know that they were AirPods Pros. But non of the special audio works. I tried updating the firmware like many other YouTubers say, but it just never works. I tried to force them to connect, and tried hundreds of attempts. The only successful time in my 712th attempts, where it is the 6th out of me constantly trying to kept reconnecting it. But Where I decided to unpair it the last time and repair it to my iPhone XR, Spatial audio was gone again.

so is there anyway to force it to update to the later firmware and bring spatial audio back because I paid much more than normal AirPods?