iphone is frustrating

iPhone is very capable. And yes, it is also complicated.

Most of us use only a small subset of its capabilities, too. Learning that takes time, too.

Apple has a “Getting Started with iPhone” session that introduces iPhone: https://www.apple.com/today/

There’s an Apple Books book too, if you’d prefer that: https://books.apple.com/us/book/iphone-user-guide/id1567104665

Or maybe a feature phone might be preferable for you and your needs.

It’s not really because the iPhone itself tells you things ex- update your phone or update payment. It seems hard only because there is so much to know. Apple offers many articles to assist in finding out answers. I also suggest going to your settings and start by looking at what each one does. I learn something new every day and try to set time aside just for that.

Harder to do than what? Anything new takes time to learn.