downloaded monterey now I cant open mail. its stuck on updating.

Does the same issue present when booting in Safe Mode - Reboot and hold SHIFT key until the Apple Logo is presented then release.

Safe mode may help you resolve or isolate problems that you’re having with your Mac.

When you start up in safe mode, your Mac prevents some software, such as startup items, from loading, and it performs a check of your startup disk. Your Mac may take longer to start up because of the check.

Hey Buzz2552,

It sounds like you're experiencing an issue with Mail not opening on your Mac, and we'd like to share a resource that can help.

Check it out here: If an app freezes or quits unexpectedly on Mac

We hope this helps!